I know I have a tradition of writing all about it here when I do something incredibly stupid (like sitting at the wrong table or showing off my ass to the office) so I thought it would be fun to highlight some OTHER stupid people. Well, maybe not so much stupid, as just plan nuts.
This idea is shamelessly stolen from Jules’ entertaining series “The People of New York”. Read her blog. It pwns.
I am going to start off this new category with two entries that are currently being written. They are:
Attack of…the Dessie Clone
I hope y’all like ’em. 🙂
This was actually one of my co-workers, although I overheard the call.
This nice man called to say that there was “slanderous and libellous” content on the forums of a site we host.
When asked where said content could be found, the customer reported that there were “white spots on the posts with his name on them” with the offending content.
The tech on the phone dutifully searches the site, and finds a couple of threads under his name (note, the guy had an extremely common name). He checks code, he highlights the white spaces, and there is NO place on that site where his name actually appears.
Now, he says, well, its in invisible text.
At this point, we are forced to ask the question:
If someone libels you in invisible text, did it ever really happen? If the libel does not exist, does the customer exist? Do any of us exist?
This is a call I actually took. I spent about an hour on the phone with the guy. This customer wanted to make me aware of several things, to include:
1. The New World Order is coming, with George Bush Senior being the beginning of the change.
— Not really sure what this one is supposed to mean? Me either.
2. There was a tsunami in Southern California that the government covered up. Apparently it caused mass devastation up and down the coast. I didn’t notice it apparently because I died and was cloned. Look at me go. It’s a Dessie Clone!
3. The government is aiding and abetting the Chinese in coming across the Canadian and Mexican border. They are building internment camps in an unspecified location to house all Americans.
These internment camps will be used to clone US citizens to create “dark energy” for weapons. They will be implanting bad memories into the clones, as apparently this energy is created from fear???
4. The only place to go for “real news” is Art Bell.
5. If I don’t open my eyes to the war in Iraq not actually happening and being a distraction from the aliens being here, (Iraq’s a soundstage!) when the aliens take over, I will be used for their experiments.
This went on for an hour. I don’t think aluminium hat and medication even covers this guy…
ALWAYS ENDORSE YOUR CHECKS BEFORE YOU DEPOSIT THEM.
I learned this lesson this week…very expensively. I deposited my tax return in my account via the ATM last week. Since I had just put a bunch of money into the account, I proceeded to spend it. 😀
When I logged into my account yesterday, it said that I was $1700 in the hole. I WTF’d (of course) and called the bank right away. The “nice lady” that answered told me, yes, you forgot to sign the check, no, we don’t know where the check is, no, we did not yet notify you of this issue, and yes, you do have to pay the $85 in overdraft fees. Great.
I went down to the bank this morning. By then, I had already hit $135 in overdraft fees, still without having been notified of any issues with the check. I talked to a guy at the bank who looked at my account, and told me that they had been notified that the check was not signed on Friday. The letter (letter!!!) informing me of the same was sent on Tuesday. No, we still won’t refund some of the overdraft fees.
It wasn’t until the Honey and I pointed out that supposedly they were notified of this issue on FRIDAY, but still didn’t freeze my account, thereby allowing another several overdrafts that they agreed to refund some of them. I also threatened to take my 4 accounts away from that bank, which may have helped, but whatever. I am going to end up paying $50 in overdraft fees. Not as bad as $135, but still sucky. All over a fucking signature. Aren’t we living in the electronic age where no one needs paper checks anyway? WTF.
In my grand tradition of detailing it here when I do something that proves that I am, well, kinda ditzy at times, we have a new “Dessie is dumb” story. Feel free to laugh at me. I am. 🙂
So, the honey and I are out for some sushi at a buffet type restaurant. We go our separate ways to find our sushi. I find some yummy sushi, but in the process, I accidentally picked up some eel. Since eel is SO not edible, especially raw, I was grumbling about it and picking at it all the way back to my table.
I get back to my table and plunk down, and put the offensive sushi on the Honey’s plate, and grab something I like in exchange. Suddenly, I hear someone clear their throat. I look up….
Into the eyes of someone who is NOT the honey. I sat down one table away. The guy at the table is looking at me as though I was fucking insane (which, for the record, I am) and the honey is sitting at our table trying desperately not to snort his sake.
I slinked back to my table with my tail between my legs, and the poor guy whose table I look over left shortly thereafter. Probably didn’t want the crazy lady the table over to rub off on him or something. LOL.
Yes kids, I am crazy.