Passwords are hard. Wait, no they aren’t.

So, I just got off the phone with this dude who thinks he knows so much more than me. Gotta love the type – you can’t possibly know anything about anything if you have BREASTS! Anyway, that is a rant for another day. So, this guy calls and starts being all condescending because HE can’t keep track of his passwords. I nicely inform him of the difference between the 3 passwords he is ranting about, and he calls ME stupid.
I send him emails with all the information he is asking for, and he proceeds to tell me that it is wrong. (Not possible, because I tested it, loser). When I point out the correct, clearly labeled password that he needs to be using, I suddenly hear a click…and the caller is gone. Victory, sweet victory.
I need a shot….again

Black Monday Continues

So, let me give you, my esteemed reader, a hypothetical. Given my earlier rant about the flood of calls from previously alcohol addled brains, and adding on the fact that your geeks are probably equally addled from too many adult libations, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SCHEDULE YOUR ENTIRE ADMIN STAFF OUT FOR TRAINING ON THE BUSIEST DAY OF THE YEAR? The stupid new piece of equipment that has been “coming soon” since the day I started couldn’t wait two days? WTF!
Note to the alcohol addled callers: do not call me if you are on the freeway, on the toilet, or in the elevator. Don’t have your secretary call me. Don’t waste my time and yours by not being at a computer to troubleshoot your freeking issue. I have better things to do with my time than listen to you run to your desk, like eat that nice yummy piece of pizza sitting on my desk, that is now lukewarm and greasy because YOU wasted my time.
Dammit, where is the tequila? I need a shot.

It’s Black Monday

Black Monday is to us geeks what Black Friday is to retailers. It is the day every year when users come back from their alcohol binges, and find stuff to complain about. Gotta love those geniuses that all the sudden figure out that their crap is mindbogglingly important to the world, and need it working immediately, when they have not paid their bill. Good times.
To make Black Monday even more terrible, the girls up front forgot to buy more coffee cream. They expect me to drink BLACK coffee? I can’t work under these conditions. Geek abuse! Someone save me!

So, what New Year’s Resolutions can I break this year?

1. I am finally going to plan my bloody wedding. I have only been engaged TWO (count ’em two) years. What is the bloody hurry?
2. I am going to be a rockstar like my friend Jes and go to the gym…at least sometimes.
3. Ya know that beautiful burgundy dress, the one I cried for 20 minutes when I found out it did not fit anymore? Yeh, that one. I am going to wear it again. Really.
4. Hell, I am out of ideas already. Pathetic, that.

So I figure I can say what I am thinking here…

Because no one knows about this thing, so it does not have to be as cheery, happy, and kid-friendly as thedessie.com needs to be. 🙂
For example, I can ramble on about some issue I am having with my sex toys business without worrying about my dad stopping by to see Christmas pictures and going, WTF, my DAUGHTER sells sex toys? I can even throw down a colourful metaphor or two without fear.
Beware kiddies…adult ramblings ahead.