Found on the internets and forwarded to me by one of my guys:
*giggle
Recently in LOL! Category
I got this from someone else, but it was too fun not to post. Whee for blondeness. Too bad there is nothing about sitting at the wrong table on this one or I would have been even higher!
1. [X] I have walked into a glass/screen door.
2. [X] I have tripped on my shoelace and fallen
3. [X] I have choked on my own spit.
4. [X] I've seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
5. [] I type only with my pointer fingers.
6. [X] I have accidentally caught something on fire.
7. [] I've told a cop screw you
8. [X] I have attempted to sip out of a straw but it accidentally went into my nose, rather than my mouth.
9. [X] I have thought of something funny, and laughed out loud and people looked at me weird.
10. [] I've caught myself drooling.
11. [] I've accidentally caused an explosion.
12. [] If someone says the word "fart", I can't help but laugh.
13. [] I've been into a "Do Not Enter" one way road plenty of times
14. [X] Sometimes I just...stop thinking & zone out.
15. [] It is POSSIBLE to lick your elbow..
16. [X] I have tried to lick my elbow before.....
17. [] People often shake their heads and walk away from me
18. [] People often tell me to use my "inside voice"
19. [X] Gum has fallen out of my mouth while talking.
20. [] I've used my fingers to do simple math.
21. [] I've jumped off a moving vehicle.
22. [] I ate a bug for $5 or less.
23. [X] I'm taking this test when I should be doing something more important.
24. [] I repost chain letters because I'm scared of what they threaten will happen if I don't.
25. [X] I've ended up pantless around friends
26. [] I've ran around when I was with friends
27. [X] I've searched all over the place for something, and then realized it was in my hand the whole time.
28. [X] I accidentally break a lot of things.
29. [] My friends know not to use big words on me.
30. [] I move my head to the side when I'm confused....and scratch my head...
31. [X] Sometimes I start telling a story and suddenly forget what I'm talking about.
32. [X] I've fallen out of my chair before
33. [X] When I'm laying in bed, I sometimes stare at the ceiling and try to find pictures and words in the texture.
Tally up your number of x's. MULTIPLY THAT NUMBER BY 3 TO GET YOUR PERCENTAGE. Repost this as "I am __% stupid"
http://blog.dreamhost.com/2006/08/16/you-cksckn-spammers/
I found this while perusing another blog, and since it's so similar to stuff that I have dealt with in the past, I thought it was worth a giggle for y'all. This "nice man" was concerned about some spam he got, so he decided to call in to the hosting company he felt was responsible.
Note: I am making no judgments about whether or not the spam was really originating from the company in question, just giggling at the voicemail and the blog post.
Note 2: Please take the warning about language seriously. This "nice man" has a worse potty mouth than me.
Note 3: Doesn't the bleeping make you giggle? Cheap headphones as bleeping mechanisms FTW!
Ok, this is probably only going to be funny to me, but what the hell.
I am reading the official sex toy saleswoman support boards this morning, and some woman mentions that she is going to play the "cock fight game" at her party. It's early, and I am still a little punch drunk, my mind goes places.
I start picturing two party guests standing on a little stool with a Chocolate Thriller (exactly what it sounds like) in their hands. Getting ready to square off, sword fight style. The Zorro we are about to fight music begins, and then the battle royal, with both people trying to use their dildo to knock each other off their stools. The crowd cheers, and they fight. Guts, glory, it's all here. Finally, someone is victorious...
The winner gains .... eternal glory as the winner of Dildo Wars.
I crack myself up.
From Scizzy's site, shamelessly stolen, b/c it's oh so funny:
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top!
